my mouth tastes like poor choices
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
