Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
