absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
