apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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