My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
