I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
