Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Houston, we have a squirter
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
