Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
