HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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