dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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