He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Im part way to drunk.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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