were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
