Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he shaved USA in his pubs
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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