Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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