handjob tips. give me some.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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