I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
