I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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