I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
