Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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