just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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