I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
