nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
