AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
