hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I cockslap morals
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
