it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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