I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Less talking, more tequila
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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