Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
