dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
