so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
