Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
