Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
