is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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