You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My brain says no but my pants say off.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
