Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
