You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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