yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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