Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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