R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
