I skipped work to stalk him.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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