Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
