yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's never too late to be topless.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
