we're blogging at a bar
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
