so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
