awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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