How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize