uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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