What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just had sex bonerless
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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