Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize