so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
