I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
