i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I FOUND THE LEGS
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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