So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
