Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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