I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize