saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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