The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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