what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
