You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
