How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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