This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
