I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
