what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
