you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
