my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize